I have not read a lot of parenting books. Don’t judge. I do have a disclaimer, I am still in the midst of raising my children so I’m sure I will read another book or two. And sometimes I feel like we over think it.
I love, love, love the book, “Love and Logic.” It makes sense and you can simply apply the tips to your everyday life. I have read the book twice and it is in the stack to read it again. At every age there are things I have forgotten because at the time I read the book they didn’t apply. Here are a few tips I walked away with and try to stick to:
- Give lots and lots of choices. Choices that do not matter to you. Which pajamas would you like to wear? Do you want to wear the pink socks or the yellow socks? Do you want to walk down the hall very seriously or silly? This is great because this simple approach helps you teach your kiddos to make decisions. And truthfully, I don’t want to always be told what to do. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone.
- Follow through. If you say you are going to take away a favorite doll or a race car then do it. My favorite toy time out spot is on top of the fridge. They get there own special pedestal, front and center.
- Don’t take away things that punish you. For example, if you have a play date scheduled with friends don’t use that as a scare tactic unless you are willing to take it away. I don’t use social outings (not yet) because that punishes the entire family.
- Everything is a privilege. Typically (in our house) threatening to take away privileges works, but when we threaten and it doesn’t work we take the privileges away. We consider any TV, videos, electronic games and sweets a privilege. And if we take them away the kiddos lose all of them, not just one.
- And of course there is always time out. In love and logic the guideline is for a child to be completely calm to leave time out. Truthfully ours does not always work out this way. Sometimes they do their time and they are upset and want a hug.
You should read the book for yourself, but these are the guidelines we try to follow. Some days are smooth sailing and some are not. Sometimes we have to put the guidelines in overdrive and sometimes we don’t.